I sometimes need to be reminded that I'm enough headache for a lifetime. I need to know that you don't need two of me, and me alone is just enough. I want to be a handful, and the one who makes your life easy. I like to be reminded that whatever happens, I'll be the one you'll run to. I wish to be something that contributes to your happiness. I want to be a reason for something. I would like to be in that special place. I hope my name is carved neatly inside you. I like to be remembered before you close your eyes at night. I want to be your buddy and soul mate. I want to rock hard with you and care less about the world. I sometimes need to be reminded how important my existence is to you. I sometimes need to know that we're going somewhere, instead of a dead end. I don't want to grow old knowing that you're not there. What would I be without you?

I poyo ker? Nina kata I poyo when I start talking about things with the people who get. It's not about being poyo ke tak but sometimes you have to feed your brains with things you're not familiar with. Even if you're not into something, you have to selarikan things with your significant other - not to fit in, but for your personal knowledge.

If I was trying to fit in, I poyo kot? Tapi I tak. Bukan nak samakan interest, but to understand him better. In order to do that, you have to do some research. Everything in this world needs to be researched. Mana boleh main terjun jer. That's why I ask about things yang buat Nina tension, because she's not into it and she just doesn't get it. I didn't either, but now I have some idea on how things work. I don't think she's even into House/Techno before she met Tom. Haaa sapa poyo ni?? ;p

This hella rad dude, the guy from Topman. He's so nu-rave. Let's just name him "J". I'm over him now so I'm pretty much allowed to talk about him. Crushing with no physical or verbal contact involved, is it cheating? I don't think so. What do you think?

Wahida dah jadi cikgu now. I hope she's not gonna go ugg-ugg over school boys. They can be pretty tempting, cute and sooo adorable. Hopefully dia kuat iman, jangan sampai crushing kat underage boys. Unless kalau you nak jadi pedo. Muahahahah I miss you already. Hurry back from PD!

It's awkward seeing someone you know on Youtube. Naik bulu roma, especially when that someone turns into someone aggressive on stage. Like dammnnn. He looks so scrumptious, I'd eat him all in one bite! Ajajaja.

PS: Aimi & Ili dating tak ajakkk! *emo*

I don't want to marry you. I'm not even planning to. You're not the kind of husband I want and definitely not the type of person I want to spend the rest of my life with. I can't even stand you. We've been together for three months and you've been making my life a living hell. I can't take it.

But if I'm not going to marry you, why am I still here? Even if we make it for the next two years, it's going to be the same shit from you. Aren't you thankful that you have someone like me? Someone who loves you and cares for you; someone who will undoubtedly give her all with no questions asked?

I'm always there for you. I guess you don't love me enough to notice that.
I'm all ears. I guess you don't trust me enough to tell me everything.

It's not going to work out for us. I don't want to waste two years with you and then not going to end up with you. It's a waste isn't it? I don't wanna go through this for two years and by the time we're through, there's no one left for me. I don't wanna end up alone. I wanna be with someone and he's somewhere out there waiting for me. If I want something, I have to act now. And it's not you that I want.

I should be my number one priority. I'm not gonna let you hurt me. Cukup la setakat you hina I, cakap lepas dan tak hormat kat I. I deserve so much more sayang, so much more. It's not fair after all I've been through. I kesian kat diri I nih. You're not the first to hurt me. Memang dah banyak kali hati ini disakiti. Keikhlasan tak membawa apa-apa erti. Tak cukup ke apa yang I beri? I'm tired of blaming myself. I dah jelak nak defend you, defending us. I dah penat. I dah bosan. I deserve better.

Sometimes I wonder if love's supposed to hurt this much. If it is, then why is everyone so eager to want it? They don't know what you've done to me. They don't know. I'm the one who has to bear with you. They will not understand. I don't understand. Why me?

I really thought I've made the right choice for once. I guess I did, or at least that's what I thought at first.

I can't help but to feel glad when people find their happiness. Keep in mind that happiness isn't all about the significant other and whatnot. A great job, good health, wonderful family are also considered happiness. I'm happy for you if you've found yours. Sometimes I wonder when will I ever find mine. Why do I wonder? Aren't I happy? I am, just sometimes I just wonder when will it ever be my turn.

I found my old blogs and pictures from way back. Everything was my happiness back then - had a great boyfie, awesome friends, being in college, it's safe to say that my life was totally perfect. Nothing was out of place. And then everything changed in a blink of an eye. Boyfie became an ex, friends grew distant, I graduated (maybe it's not a bad thing but still!!) - it seemed like someone had kicked the puzzle and the pieces went all over the place.

Four years later, i finished the puzzle and everything went perfect again. Having a new life with a new boyfie, new friends and new perfections. If I could change anything about it right now, I wouldn't. It's perfect just the way it is. And suddenly a day like this comes - the time where I have a little flashback on the past. So I begin to wonder if the happiness that I had four years ago was true happiness. I start to compare today's happiness and the one that I had before.

And then I start to think. If that old happiness ended, will this one last?

PS: I don't want you to leave me again. Promise me you will stay.

All they had to do was talk. He finally decided to open up to her. From that point, the thing they called love, their declining love, suddenly recovered, going straight uphill. She knew that his love for her had never faded; she knew it all along.

If I was her, I'd leave him dying in his own hell.
If I was her, fuck will I ever listen.
If I was her, I wouldn't care.
If I was her, I'd just give up.

But I am her.
And he's loved.
He'll always be.

Nobody has ever driven me this crazy quite as much as you have. Heaven knows how much I adore you. I love/hate it when you make me mad. I don't know the exact word to describe it. Let's like date forever and ever and drive each other insane and then end up in a mental hospital together. We'll date again in there and be crazy for each other like how we are now. I'm so mental; you're a psycho. What a match.

Is she having the hots for me?! Don't tell me it's for real. Whenever she's around, I suffocate.

Happy birthday orang tua yang banyak buat salah :) I hope this year will bring you much more happiness and ong cuz you still owe me teh ais which I still don't like.

Missing you is like the best worst feeling ever. It's torture. I guess it's a way of growing up. It exposes you to loneliness; teaches you how to cope with being lonely and lets you know that there is actually a feeling known as emptiness.

I wanna welcome June. June has always been my favorite month but this 2 days I've not been feeling good. Screw June. This might be the worst month for me this year. God, so many things I have to deal with by myself. I may be nineteen but I can't help dealing with this with all the pressure on me. Love, life, education, finance. Gives me a headache.I just lost someone that I love the most - my couz. I can't take it anymore. I don't wanna play his game no more. At least not right now. Not with all this shit on my shoulders. It's too heavy.

He has been calling me lately. Well, everyday to be exact. How can I tell him to leave me alone? I've been telling him that but in a different way. He still doesn't get it. I'm not being unthankful for having someone who still 'cares' but I need a break. It's okay to call me but FIVE times per day and twice at night. Sheesh!